Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 16 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Thursday, June 19, 2008

emptying the pot...

things are improved today. I'm emptying out that pity pot. it's stuffed full from yesterday's dive, but I'm extricating myself from the muck nonetheless. my hip is better, though still not right. my worst fear may be true. I may have re-torn the labrum for a third time, but I know there is nothing I can do about that now. less pain today. I'll try a couple miles tomorrow after arriving in duluth. heck, if I determine it'd be too dangerous to run (yah, RIGHT!!), I can help my friends sell running shoes at the expo again! they own a shoe store, and I helped them hawk running shoes last year--my dream job! I love high tech shoes! I had a blast! I'm sure I'll run...and I'm feeling better about that today.

I'm home alone tonight, which I hate. my parents are watching Puck. it's so quiet in the house without him. but he loves them, and they love him, so I'm sure he's quite content. wish my mood was a bit better going into this race, but such is the nature of this illness, huh? another reality over which I have little control. on my way to bed now. long drive in the morning, and an unexpected road closing in duluth could make for a very interesting journey for thousands of runners and fans. hope to avoid the mess by getting an early start.
I'm rambling now. I guess that's exactly how I feel. not up, nor down...happy, nor sad...excited, nor apprehensive... I just am. I just am. I guess that's okay...

good night.

5 comments:

Bradley said...

I'm jealous. Duluth is one of my favorite cities.

I'm not sure if it's ok to say "good luck" when it comes to a marathon. I'm sure "break a leg" is not appropriate.

You know what I mean either say.

Maia said...

Good luck! I am in awe of your drive and stick-to-it-iveness. You are an inspiration!

crackedheadblog said...

Hope everything works out well. I can't help but think having something to do that is optional is a tremendous asset for you. Good luck.

etta said...

@ Bradley--I'm running the HALF marathon! (only 13.1 miles vs. 26.2) And Duluth is beautiful today! I find such serenity here...

Thanks to all of you--I appreciate the support!

Wendy said...

Duluth is an awesome city!



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