Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 16 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

It's cold and dark outside.

Our first very cold day today. According to my car's temp readout, I don't think it ever reached 20 degrees. At least the sun was out. That was nice. But now it's dark outside. I don't like the early darkness at all. It's getting more and more difficult for me as I age, I think. It's especially tough on my mood. I don't want to go outside when it's like this, which means I don't get as much exercise or even fresh air. And that's also tough on my mood. I feel like going to bed, and it's only 6:30 PM!

I can't go to bed, though, as I need to ride a little yet tonight. I was going to go to the gym, but again, it's tough for me to go out in this weather. I guess I'll pull my stationary bike in front of the television and ride at home for awhile. I usually like tapering for my marathons, but I'm feeling restless and anxious this time. Hopefully getting on the bike will help.

It's hard to believe I'll be in Dallas on Friday. The marathon is Sunday. I feel ready. I'm not sure yet if I'm going to run the race hard or just for fun. I think I will probably race it. My training went well, and I feel like I'm in good shape. I don't think I ran enough miles to run a personal best or anything, but it would be fun to re-qualify for Boston. I'd have to finish under 3:50 to do that.

A few thoughts before I sign off: Did anyone notice that Major League Baseball's American League and National League MVPs both had mental illness and/or substance abuse histories? ESPN talking about depression and alcoholism... That was refreshing!

Did anyone else notice that Dorothy Hamill is now doing TV commercials to raise money, as a cancer survivor, for cancer? I wonder why she never did that, as a depression survivor, for mental illness? Too bad.

The depth of darkness to which you can descend and still live is an exact measure of the height to which you can aspire to reach.--Author unknown

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