Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 16 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Not much to say...

I'm feeling ambivalent about writing today. And that's probably not the best opening line with which to attract your attention. Let me explain. I'm feeling ambivalent about writing because I don't feel like I have much to offer about what is currently happening. I'm caught wanting to do more than just report what's happening. I feel an obligation, as the writer of this blog, to find or create some meaning out of the recent events. And I guess I'm not feeling able to do that on this day. So here goes the reporting...

There have been two deaths in the past few days which have hit close to home. Last night I attended the service for a local man--a political figure--who was a member of my church. He died suddenly last week. While I wouldn't say he and I were friends, his wife and I are more acquainted, I did enjoy and respect this man. He was a talented stained glass artist. He was a political activist who stood up for the little man, including those of us with mental illness, and his wacky, dry sense of humor was second to none. His presence will be missed in our church and in this community.

I thought about this man and his family all night and into this morning. He and his wife were soul mates, still deeply in love 44 years later. So tragic... And then I signed into Facebook this morning and discovered a pillar of our AA community lost his wife yesterday afternoon. This man is beloved in our local AA crowd, and while his wife has been sick, I don't think her death was necessarily expected. Similar to the couple from my church, this man and his wife also shared a deep, abiding love and friendship.

Ironically, one day after losing his wife, this man celebrated his 49th year of sobriety at our AA meeting tonight. Wow. When he accepted his 49 year medallion there wasn't a dry eye in the house. It was intense. I so, so respect this man, too. I will be offering condolences at the exact same funeral home again tomorrow night.

And that's all I've got. Is there a take home message in two close-to-home deaths, each of which separated one soul mate from the other, from two well-respected families within a week? I don't know. It is what it is. Life. And death. I don't know what else to say.

4 comments:

Paul Rhodes said...

thats right, they lived life well by the sounds...you paid a nice tribute

Knittin' Girl said...

Thank you for writing even on a day you don't feel like it. Those are often the most important. I've just started speaking out about my depression (and borderline personality disorder) and find that I have many days like that... but people like you inspire me to keep pushing. It makes me feel like I am not alone... and that means neither are you...

I have also just started a blog, to try to keep pushing me to speak out (rather that shut myself in, which is usually what I would prefer)... you can find me at

http://sweetknittins.blogspot.com/

I would love it if you would please support me in my fight as well. All the best to you... I will keep reading...

p.s. congrats on your Austin medal... its beautiful :)

Maggie Beth said...

I'm so sorry Etta....

noch said...

thanks for your post. i had a friend who recently passed away too. i went through depression myself and still struggling. recovering and better. but sometimes in hell i want to give up. and so hard to keep going. but we must. writing my blog helps me confront my issues and thoughts. and reading your's also help me thin

thanks

noch
nochnoch.com



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