Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 16 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Friday, August 17, 2012

That was uncalled for...

I knew what she was going to tell me, and she did. I had to pray for "the sick man." I couldn't afford to be that angry. Anger that intense would stick with me. It would tear me apart or drag me down. I had to pray to God to relieve me of my anger at the sick man.

I was walking Puck on our usual 1.7 mile loop a couple nights ago. He is a dog who appreciates routine. We walk the same route every night. He poops and pees in the same spots along the way during every walk. It's actually kind of funny. Even if he doesn't have anything left in his tank, he'll still stop to pee in the required spot. Nothing comes out, but he goes through the motions anyway. Makes me laugh every time!

You may be wondering why I am describing my dogs toileting habits to you. Let me explain. Puck's first stop every night is just two houses down from me. It is the home of an 80ish year old man named Eugene. His lawn is immaculate--no trees, no flowers, no shrubs--just perfect green grass. Puck likes the grassy area between the sidewalk and the street. He makes his deposit, I immediately pick it up. We've been doing this for at least a year.

Two nights ago, around 6 PM, Puck was making his deposit when a prolonged honk from a very loud horn came right at us from across the street. After getting over my initial fright, I looked in the driver-side window to see who the hell was being so obnoxious. It was Eugene. He pulled into his driveway, about ten feet from us, and stopped. Without rolling down his window, he was screaming and pointing at us. I could read his lips. "You pick that f**kin' shit up! You pick that f**kin' shit up!"

Picture this. I was standing over my dog, who hadn't even finished his business yet, with a white plastic grocery bag pulled up to my elbow on my right hand. I had another bag folded up in my other hand. Stunned, I stretched out my arms, faced Eugene and said, "What the f**k?" I figured if he could cuss like a sailor so could I. I was shocked. Could this man not see the plastic bag up to my elbow??

I stood there looking at him, still in his car with the window rolled up, as he began flipping me off and repeatedly saying, "F**k you. F**k you. F**k you." I must have looked like an idiot standing there, stunned, mouth agape with a white plastic bag up to my elbow. But I just couldn't believe what was happening, and I was getting really pissed off. Finally, I yelled, "What is the problem?" This got Eugene out of his car. "Give me that f**kin' bag," he hissed, as he walked toward me. Again, I asked, "What is your problem?" He again told me to pick that shit up, and I said, "What do you think I'm doing?" I bent over to pick up the f**kin' shit.

I was thoroughly confused as to why I was being attacked. I told him he was acting like an asshole, and then I asked him if he realized I was his neighbor? At that, he softened a bit, and said, "Ya, I see you running around here." I don't think he really realized who he was screaming at, not that it should make any difference if I was his neighbor or not! I picked up the poop, as he walked away mumbling about getting his hose. I was seething, but I turned and as pleasantly as possible said, "You have a nice night!" He didn't acknowledge me.

I fumed throughout our entire walk. I came up with a million zingers I should have said. I thought about throwing dog poop at his house on our way home. In the end, I knew I couldn't do or say any of what I was thinking. Instead, I came home and called my sponsor.

I knew what she was going to tell me, and she did. I prayed for the sick man. It worked.

6 comments:

Tina Fariss Barbour said...

Wow, what an incident! You handled it great, though. I would have wanted to throw out some zingers, too, or stayed angry. But your sponsor and you are right--pray for the man, have positive thoughts towards him. It's about him, not you and Puck.

The Girl said...

Really really....congrats on handling that so well. I seriously would have flipped! I actually started to get angry just reading your post. I hate people who have to be like that....

Be proud of yourself, you didn't completely cuss him out, throw poop at his house (or at him) and you even said something nice as you left. You did great.

-M

ruby-tuesday said...

Hey,

I have 2 dogs also and while walking them I've discovered there are 2 types of people.
The first type are fellow dog lovers, they will be walking their own dogs and will stop to exchange pleasantries about each others dogs.

The next type are the dog haters.
They give you dirty looks as you walk by and God forbid would the dog do something outrageous like bark or pee.

I think you met a certified dog hater right there.
People are really anal (pun intended) about dog poop.

Loved this post x

krystal lynn said...

Oh my goodness. We had a neighbor in Texas (before we owned a dog) who would come outside and scream at people whose dogs pee'd on his lawn and even if little kids would stray off the sidewalk and walk on his grass he would come out and scream profanity's. I feel sorry for people like that, they have to be so miserable inside but it must be really hard to stand face to face to someone like that. i felt terrible because I had to warn my kids to walk on the other side of the street so as not to have to come in contact with him. He came down to my car one time and asked me why my kids never came to his house on Halloween and inside I was thinking, because I was afraid he'd kill them. Good for you for using prayer!

seroquel 25 mg said...

depression is very awkward situation for me. I already suffered from it at least 10 years but now i am living my life happily.

michael platania said...

I hate when people dump their toxic shit on us. It always seems to happy when I am feeling my best, and then I am stuck with this nastiness. In the past I've assumed I must be polite, but I have learned sometimes you have to sling it back at them. Good for you for responding the way you did, and then praying later as a way to release the anger.



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