Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 14 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Thursday, January 31, 2013

Holding pattern

Ugh...I'm still under the weather, and the sub-zero temperatures outside certainly are not helping! At least the sun is coming out. That's helping brighten my mood a bit. If it was warmer, I think I might at least be able to manage a walk. But there's no way with the wind and cold we have today.

Not much has changed since my last post. My chest is still stuffed with congestion. I'm still tired with little energy or motivation to do more than sit. Whatever this thing is, it is really hanging on, and on, and on. I fear I am losing the last remnants of any fitness I may have had.

Jet is still as cute as ever. He's right now playing with multiple toys at once. I think he's potty trained, as he comes to get me to go outside now, and he hasn't had any accidents in the house for at least one week. I'm thrilled that process wasn't as difficult as I had feared it would be. I've taken him to work at least four times, including into a new building yesterday, and he's doing great. It's really wonderful. Perhaps I will look into making him an official therapy dog.

On this day, I typically write a post about an anniversary of sorts. It was 28 years ago today, as far as I recall, that I nearly took my life. Fortunately, I was unsuccessful. The attempt began my foray into the mental health system. I got help, and until 12 years ago, I got well. I don't know why I didn't devote an entire post to the subject today. I thought about it. It would likely be more interesting than this one. But I just didn't feel the need to more than mention it. I am glad I'm not in that dark place today.

Well, Jet's finally worn himself out, and I'm worn out from simply being upright. I guess it must be nap time. I'm really hoping I'm able to step back into life soon. Right now I feel like I'm on the outside looking in. Eventually, I've got to rejoin the ranks of the living. I'm looking forward to that.

2 comments:

Tina Fariss Barbour said...

I'm glad you're not in that dark place, too.

Take care of yourself. I hope you feel better very, very soon.

Chris Smith said...

Do you have access to a treadmill? Maybe you could walk on the treadmill and loosen up your congestion?

The Dark Place sucks! I'm inspired by the fact that you got help & got well. I'll be reading through your blogs to learn lessons that may be applicable to my depression & anxiety.

Sincerely,

Chris



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