Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 16 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Dive...

Short post today, as my mood has taken a dive. Things are very dark today. My energy is low. My thoughts are negative and slow. It's difficult to move. It's been a long day. I'm counting on this being a temporary crash. I have to believe that. I can't fathom going back to where I've recently been. I will not. Despite my hopelessness, lethargy, and fatigue, I've been trying to move. It took two attempts, but I did get a short run in today. And I'm right now preparing to go to an AA meeting, despite the fact that being around people may be downright painful. I can't go backwards. There is just too much to lose. I pray my efforts will pay off and my mood will bounce back soon.

4 comments:

Tina Fariss Barbour said...

I'm saying a prayer for you, Etta, and hoping that this setback is over quickly!

Anonymous said...

That is so great that you went for a run and are planning to go to the AA meeting. Small steps and one day at a time. Sending you lots of support and good wishes.
Am also struggling with a setback. I know we can both get through this.

CH said...

The crashes and set backs WILL be temporary. The key is on how to extend the up times and the positive thoughts. As painful as it is to be around others at times, it is necessary and there is always the possibility that the person that could help the most is waiting out there. Prayers to you Etta, your efforts will be rewarded.

Anonymous said...

This keeps happening to me. ...over and over and over again despite all of my best efforts. Is there anything that helps you that you could share with me? Also, I'll be praying for you. It's pretty hard to find the strength sometime to even want to try, but the fact that you keep doing that makes you a remarkably strong person. Good luck!



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