Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 16 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Improved

I'm on my fourth cup of coffee already today, and it's just after noon. I've been very busy this week, and I guess it's finally caught up with me today. I'm tired. But I'm doing well. My mood has been slowly improving since last weekend.

The time of my last post, 3:00 Sunday morning, seems to have been a turning point. My direction changed. The downward, dark spiral stopped and light began to reenter my life. I've been on a slow, upward trajectory ever since.

The light reentering has been such a relief. A relief, yes, that's been my primary reaction. I'm so grateful I'm no longer in free fall. The improved mood allowed me to take care of my business this week. And I've been busy.

As my mood improved, I noticed a little more energy. That allowed me to work an extra day and earn some extra money, which I'll need when I'm unable to work after my hip surgery next month. I'm going to try to get some extra hours each week until my surgery. I don't have any benefits, so no vacation time, or pay, after my surgery, although I will likely miss at least a couple of weeks of work.

The extra energy also came in handy when it came to training. After missing a week of training because of my mood and bronchitis it was nice to get all of my runs in this week. I even did a little speed work. That really wore me out, but it was great to run fast again.

I still have to run today. I have 12 miles on the schedule. Unfortunately, I woke up woefully tired this morning. I'm now finishing my fourth cup of coffee, and I've already taken a one hour nap. Perhaps by the time I finish my mound of laundry I'll have generated enough steam to get out the door.

I'm sure I'll get my run in somehow, but regardless I'm happy to feel the light again. I hate this illness. I hate the ups and downs which always seem to surprise. But I'm so relieved to be on an upward rather than downward trajectory today. I'll take it, fatigue and all.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

So glad you are feeling better.
- Virginia

Anonymous said...

Thrilled you are doing better!

Tina Fariss Barbour said...

So glad to hear this! Take care of yourself.



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