Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 16 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Hanging in there

Life is moving forward. I'm hanging on for the very slow ride. I'm feeling a little better. Maybe? Actually, I'm not sure. At least I'm not feeling worse. I'm hanging in there, I think. I continue to work 4-6 hours every other day. It's been a bit overwhelming, especially at the start of each day, but once I've gotten going my patients have kept me distracted. My exercise has slowed again, but I did get a run/walk in tonight. I ran 4 minutes and walked 1 minute for a total of 3 miles. That was my first run this week. It wasn't much, and it was slow, but I did it even though I felt like staying on the sofa. I see my doctor tomorrow. She's thinking of changing my meds. That process scares me, but I'm willing to do anything to feel better. This has been a long, slow stretch of not feeling entirely well, and I'm getting tired. But I'm hanging on, moving slowly forward, trying not to fall off the ride. Hang in there with me, my friends.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

We are in this together! Glad you are pushing forward and being proactive in your recovery. Please keep going! It is more inspiring than you know.This depression I am currently experiencing has me stuck frozen in my tracks.Not a pretty picture as you well know. Even when movement can seem like grinding gears, I know it is vital. Yet here I sit, almost as if paralyzed. Reading your blog entries reiterates that movement, even the slightest of steps, is progress. Your courage to keep swimming against the tide gives us, your readers,courage. Thank you for sharing your struggle.Your blog has been like a lifeline for me these past months. Here is to continuing to move, in whatever capacity that may be.

Jim Work said...

E.....some days it is all we can do to just hang. I got tangled in my dogs lead and felol hard on my hip. I can hardly even walk & it triggered a couple of hide under the covers for most of two days. Falling back in the pit was harder than the fall on the street!

Irene said...

Wellbutrin and Zoloft were completely useless to me. Prozac helped. Combinations with Prozac help a friend of mine. You have supported yourself in so many active ways that I really hope you find some relief with whatever medicines you try next. Here's to you,

Nemya said...

Right there with you Etta! One foot in front of the other... one step at a time and you'll get there.

littlemissdullshine said...

Change is always scary, just remember where you are in the present moment and don't get too far into the future. You never know how you'll feel until you feel it.

Pincha Loaf said...

I don't care how bad my anxiety gets or down I feel I don't think I'll ever go on meds. I just think they might help me temporarily but all I'll be doing is drugging my issues. Exercise, taking in sunrises and sun sets, star gazing and listening to music (especially classical) is how I try to deal.

etta said...

@Pincha Loaf: If I was depressed, I might find taking in nature and classical music relieving as well. Unfortunately, I am not depressed, I have a medical illness called Depression. And just like my medical illness called asthma, I would be dead if I didn't use my medication to treat its symptoms.



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