Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 16 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Thursday, February 26, 2015

Setback

I had a brilliant run Saturday morning. For the first time since last October I ran long, 10 miles! I ran 10, one mile segments with one minute walk breaks between each mile on a beautiful, crisp winter day. It was difficult but totally doable, and I was thrilled. Unfortunately, the thrill didn't last. Within a few hours of finishing my pain free run my left knee began to ache and swell. By Saturday evening I couldn't walk without limping. It hurt! I iced it, medicated it and tried to no avail to figure out what the heck was happening. I was totally frustrated!

Since Saturday my knee has continued to ache and frustrate. The swelling and pain have been slowly improving, but my running comeback has been abruptly halted. I was forced to swim on Sunday, also frustrating as I haven't been in the pool for at least a year, so I was pooped after just a few laps. By Monday I was able to gently spin on my stationary bicycle, but my hopes of running with a braced knee on Tuesday were quickly dashed. I walked a couple of miles on the treadmill instead. Last night I tried a kinesiotaping method and was able to bike a bit more aggressively. I'm currently contemplating if I'll be able to do a light run today or not. It's not yet clear, but I'll probably tape myself up again and give it a try. If I can't run I'll at least be able to walk, and that may ease some of my frustration.

I'm fairly disappointed with this setback. And while I know it's not the end of the world, and I know it will get better if I treat it, and myself, smartly, I'm still worried. The 10-mile run felt so good. I felt freedom from the post-op heaviness for the first time. My body felt the familiar freedom of clicking along at a decent pace, step after step after step. I allowed myself to look ahead, again for the first time, at the upcoming marathon schedule. I even penciled Grandmas Marathon in June into my schedule. To be brought to a screeching, bewildering halt after all of that is disappointing.

I'm hopeful the pain will pass soon. I'm equally as hopeful I'll be able to figure out how to keep it from returning. My guess is I have some residual right hip weakness, as a result of my surgery, which is altering my gait just enough to irritate my left knee. I have no plans to discontinue the hip strengthening program I've been performing for at least four weeks. Hopefully, increased hip strength and continued taping of my knee will resolve the issue permanently. I pray it will be so, and I'll keep vigilantly working to make it so. I won't let a minor setback stop me in my tracks. No worries, my friends, forward is still the only way to go.

1 comment:

Jim Work said...

Ms Etta.....I am so glad I am too old and arthritic to run. That said I can feel your pain and acknowledge the set back you 're feeling. K tape up and do what you can without further injury. Let this injury just be physical, do not let it also give fuel to the big D....en theos...j



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