Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 16 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Sunday, June 21, 2015

Spectator

I just returned from Grandma's Marathon weekend in Duluth, Minnesota. I have friends and family in that area, which is good, because this year I was a spectator and visitor rather than a participant for the first time in years. Despite my Achilles injury, I decided to go up for marathon weekend. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't tough. It was tough not to be a runner this year, but on the positive side, I got to spend a lot more time with family and friends than I otherwise would have. I even stayed out way past my bedtime, twice! I lead a pretty sedate life around here, so staying out past my bedtime laughing with friends was really nice. I'm glad I went.

Now that I'm home, however, I'm feeling a bit out of sorts. I'm a little overwhelmed, a bit lonely, and somewhat anxious. I'm tired. I've got a list of chores to accomplish before work tomorrow. And I'm at a loss when it comes to exercise. That's probably the biggest problem. I have not yet done any aerobic exercise since getting my boot. Other than a few push-ups and sit-ups, I haven't had the gumption to do anything.

The boot, it turns out, is not only a pain in the butt, it's exhausting! I'm about 4 inches taller on my right side than my left, and just walking around like that wipes me out. Work, especially, was exhausting last week. By the time I got home all I wanted to do was nap. My motivation was lacking then, and it's not at all improved now, I think I'm really going to have to push myself to do something, anything aerobic, this week. If I want to stay well I can't continue to be a spectator.

1 comment:

Laurie J said...

I am sorry for all your recent hurdles Lauree. I am glad you had aa good time at the marathon despite running. I know what it is like to struggle more because of hurdles in my life. I recently had an emergency surgery for an obstruction in my bowel. It slowed me down a lot and I always worry about a relapse. So far I have done OK. I am going out of town tomorrow for a few days, but when I get back, maybe we should get together.



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