It would be a relief if my motivation and mood were simply low right now. Instead, I am experiencing a lack of mood and no motivation. Have you ever heard of such a thing? It sounds silly writing it down, but it does seem to be my current reality. I can find nothing redeemable to pull me out of this funk. I can find no reason to accomplish any of what needs to be accomplished. I even missed work as a result of my non-mood and motivation. Why bother? I cannot seem to pull myself off the couch. I cannot stay awake long enough even if I could. I cannot wrap my mind around anything other than destructive thoughts. Is this depression? It started as typical depression symptoms, the gray cloak and all, but I seem to have hit a new low...or should I say a new "no." I've got nothing. I've got nothing to say. I've got nothing to offer. I've got nothing to contribute. What am I doing here? I feel like a despicable speck of dead. Move on...nothing to see (or read) here.
Depression Marathon Blog
- Diagnosed with depression 16 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!