Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 17 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Wednesday, January 9, 2008


Depression sucks because it makes me fat.
Just back from a run with Puck, my svelte black lab, and feeling the weight of me.
Yes, I look fine, and I don't have an eating disorder or body image disorder, but I am 20, that's TWENTY pounds over my best racing weight.
Thought it was the birth-control pill started in October, 2006.
By May, 2007; 20 extra pounds, and losses to all the locals I used to beat when racing!
Turns out, my psychiatrist and I just realized I also started a new anti-depressant in October, 2006. (I'm not going to say which anti-depressant because I don't want a bunch of people to throw away their meds.)
So now what?
This med has made a HUGE difference. I have been very stable and functional since starting it.

But, I am also a runner.
And a runner can't compete with 20 extra pounds.
Part of my identity is missing...
Now what?

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