Depression Marathon Blog

My photo
Diagnosed with depression 19 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Sunday, January 27, 2008


Yippee! Yesterday, I washed the dishes! Then, I made it to my morning AA meeting, though I had to struggle out of my house. After the meeting, I planned to swim, but the girls convinced me to go out for pancakes. I am a sucker for pancakes, especially when I'm in a carbo-loading rut! So, I went for pancakes, but I told them all I HAD to go swimming afterward. Saying it out loud gave me no choice of going home to nap instead. Once in the pool, I pushed past the windedness and just kept going and going and going. One mile. I did it! I swam one mile again! That made me smile a very satisfied smile.

One of the beauties of my depression is it pisses me off! When I am pissed off, I find pain rewarding, dammit!! I get that competitive fire. Me against the illness, and I don't like to lose! I don't like to lose at all! That anger and fire allows me to push harder, hold on longer, and beat up on my demon depression! And, as I did yesterday, when I get to this anger point, I usually WIN!! HA!!

Okay, so I am still walking around the 8-day-old, clean, dry clothing hanging in my living room, but it's progress! Besides, I'm running out of clean clothes. I see those drying racks coming down any day now!

Have a successful day!

No comments: