Depression Marathon Blog

My photo
Diagnosed with depression 19 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Friday, March 14, 2008


The travel company I represent is doing some amazing, exciting things, and it's great! It's been tough for me to build a business. It has required patience and energy, and I often have a short supply of both! But really, that is not what has held me back. I have been stymied by everyone's favorite villian--FEAR! God, I hate that word! FEAR.

Fear gets in my way when I want to talk to someone about what we have to offer. It gets in my way because I don't like to hear no. Fear squelches my excitement in a heartbeat. Fear clouds my judgement, makes poor decisions, and puts me to bed. Fear sucks!

I have always had fear. We all have fear. We succeed by learning to confront it, challenge it, and walk through it. I know I have walked through a LOT of fear over these past seven years. With repetition, many of my fears have given in and stepped aside as I've continually walked by. But there are two particular bullies on the block that won't give up. They sense they retain the upper hand. They step in my way, trip me up, and push me down, and they will continue their bullying as long as they can.

For as long as I allow them, my fears of rejection and failure will continue to be my neighborhood tormentors. It is not enough for me to identify them. It is not enough to gather intelligence about them. It is only when I take action! It is only when I take action--confront them, challenge them, and walk through them that I will be truly free! And when I am truly free, I will be truly successful; not the other way around. I have a great opportunity with this business to be very successful, but I hope I don't waste the opportunity to be free.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

you are so right! i hate fear too and it is so hard to overcome it. thanks for the post.