Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 19 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Holidays running alone

Running through the streets late this afternoon, I was reminded of similar runs last Christmas and Thanksgiving Days. The weather, perhaps, was similar. I was running with Puck each time, and each occasion was a "family" holiday. My memory was tripped, however, because during each run the streets were eerily quiet despite the sunshine time of day. Today, I was even transported back to 1991 when I ran a beautiful Easter-day 7-miler around the Charles River in Boston. Quiet, quiet, quiet... There is something serene about running through a sunny, quiet city in the middle of the day. The usual raucous activity occurs, on holidays, behind closed doors rather than in the streets. So, despite being alone on each of these gathering days, I have found beauty and serenity on the vacated streets. I could feel sad and pathetic spending holidays alone, but instead I discovered today that being single creates a unique gift. I receive the gift of empty streets and public solitude because all around me pull their families inside and close the doors. I get to enjoy the city as few ever do. Like today, when it was bright and alive, yet expansive and serene. Just me and Puck cruising down the middle of the street...
I have a feeling my last three holidays alone may have been a bit more enjoyable than some of the family-laden holidays unfolding behind the doors I passed.
Happy Easter.

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