Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 16 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Thursday, May 1, 2008

blogging is serious

when I told people I wanted to start a blog about depression, I often received dubious looks, rolling eyes, and lots of incredulous "why" questions. when I tell people I write a blog about depression, I often get dubious looks, rolling eyes, and lots of incredulous "why" questions.

for the first few months, when I got 1-2 visitors per day, sometimes I wondered "why," too. I knew from my research that the interest and need was out there, but I also knew there were numerous, actually millions, of sites addressing the need. despite my doubts, I persevered and soon began receiving enough visitors that google could actually pick me out of a line-up! and it was google that answered the "why" question.

some of you may not know this, but websites, like mine, are able to track how people find them. it helps us know who our market is and if or how they are getting to us. so, for the last couple months, I have had the privilege and honor to see the search terms used when someone lands on my site.

and it has been heartbreaking.
I didn't anticipate that.

to know why you found me, yet not know if finding my site helped you, supported you, or answered your question has been excruciating at times. too often, I find myself wanting to reach right through my computer to hold your hand, hug you, or just tell you it's going to be okay. I want to know if you are okay, or are you still out there searching?

I want to know. did I help:

you--in China. you landed here after googling: my brain hurts aches depression
I am so sorry. I hope something I wrote made a difference in your day. I am so sorry you hurt. did you find anything here that helped? are you still out there hurting and searching?

you--in the US when you looked for help with: fatigued and weary
I get it. did you find my posts on being so f***ing tired? did it help to know I've been there, too?

you--USA sufferer with: depression intrusive thoughts or
you--with: scary intrusive thinking
within days of my post revealing my own scary thinking, you both found me. I wish I knew if reading my post was relieving for you. I hope so.

you--from far away with the: spiraling down depression
did any of my posts stop your fall? I've been there, too. if I knew you, I'd put out my arms to slow your descent...but a blog doesn't allow that. I hope my words helped.

and finally, all of you--runners from all over the world who've landed here because of: post marathon depression or post Boston Marathon depression or depression after marathon
I'm embarrassed to say this, but I had no idea! I hope the fact that there are a ton of you helps some of you feel less alone. not sure my blog addresses your area of concern, but if you leave me some comments, I'd be happy to start the discussion!

why write a blog about depression?
this is only a sample...


Shiv said...

Wow, it's great to see that you're helping people in this way.
Well, great that you can help people, obviously not so great that you've had to go through the things you have to get here and that they're going through the things they are now to look for you.
I have been writing on and off about my experiences with depression for a while now and I haven't had nearly as much success as you. On the other hand I haven't had nearly the experience or the quality of writing :)

There is something of a negative stigma attached to blogging, since it's so dominated by personal sites of teenagers writing nothing more interesting that what they had for supper and who they went to the cinema with (Did no one buy them a diary??). And on the flipside there's obviously the negative stigma with depression and other mental illnesses. So some might think that blogging about mental illnesses would be criticized right down the pan, but you know what, I have found it so good to be able to write about my experiences and to share them with others, to feel like I'm not alone and maybe other people will be able to take something from my experiences. And it also helps raise awareness in the "normies" as you put it, to show them what it's really about and possibly what they can do to help.
So yeah, if anyone asks me why I'd say: For me. For them. For you.


beartwinsmom said...

Amen, sister. Amen.

etta said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
etta said...

As beartwinsmom so deftly put it, "AMEN!"
Thanks for visiting my blog. I appreciate your comments. Your observations are right on!
Visit again soon-

Nancie said...

Blogging is really a very effective way of reaching out to others who are suffering or in need. Our experiences with depression and bipolar enabled us to help others through the pain and confusion they are going through.

Reading the google search words just confirmed how many people are searching for hope and help. It is heartbreaking sometimes to know that so many people are suffering such anguish. It gives us motivation to write, doesn't it?

Keep up your good work of writing and helping others!

Take care. And hope you have a great weekends!