Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 16 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

New day, one difference

That's ironic.
I'm sitting here contemplating how the passage of time is all we need to heal sometimes, and "Time After Time" by Cyndi Lauper comes on the radio. (Hello, God! How are you today? Thanks for the "subtle" cue--of course, if you hadn't "subtly" hit me over the head, I never would have noticed! But you already knew that...)
As I was saying, despite my mood still being unexpectedly low after yesterday's crash, today is a more functional day. My skin fits today. I am less overwhelmed and have more energy. Whereas yesterday I couldn't make it to two planned evening meetings nor out the door for my scheduled run, today I've already done some work and completed yesterday's tough run. Sure, I'd prefer my mood hover somewhere above the toilet bowl rim, but I'll gratefully accept the NON-paralysis and the functionality!
And wait for the passage of more time.


Mary said...

glad you feel a little better today., any kind of functionality is better than none. I still feel so numb and still "hide behind my shadow"..take care.Mary

etta said...

I'm sorry you are hurting. I'm thinking about you...

Mary said...

Hi Etta: Thank you so much, Im fighting,but I feel I'm losing the battle right now, a never ending battle, its the thoughts that I cant stop thinking about..I close my eyes their there, i open my eyes their there...I don't know how to stop the thoughts...I hate this I really do...Mary