Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 19 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Monday, June 16, 2008

where have I been?

I got knocked flat
by memories
Memories I didn't want
to recall

Tearful feelings
kept me down
Feelings I didn't want
to feel

Familiar voices
in my head

Voices I didn't want
to return

Thoughts. Thoughts.
I should have...
If only I...
She could have...

Questions. Questions.
What if...
Why not...
How come...


Grief. Grief.


Michelle (The Beartwinsmom) said...

Fantastic poem. I also left a comment over at TSR. You should add this one to Almost-Dead Poet's.

Hugs for you... it looks like the old ghosts are having their own party. :-(

etta said...

Thanks for your support, Michelle. Yes, the ghosts are having one hell of a BALL! Fuckin' ghosts.

Michelle (The Beartwinsmom) said...

We need to figure out how to exorcise them once and for all. I'm sick and tired of the autoplay DVD in my head.

Anonymous said...

great poem .