Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 19 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Sunday, September 7, 2008

20, 20, 20 MILES!!

I ran 20 miles yesterday.

I ran 20 miles yesterday, and I can still walk today.

I ran 20 miles yesterday, and the last 14 miles were all under 9 minutes per mile. I wasn't trying to do that. It just happened. To qualify for Boston, I need to run 8:47 per mile for 26.2 miles. As of yesterday, I am feeling a whole lot better about my chances to do just that! Although, even as I write that statement, I cringe; 8:47 per mile would have been a cake walk a few years back.

Stop it! Stop it! Stop focusing on that! Let go of the past! Shut-up, shut-up, shut-up! Focus on this huge achievement and what it means today, you doh-doh!

Okay, I'm back. Sorry about the interruption. Yesterday...

I hadn't intended to run that fast. I had a pit-stop (and I don't mean for coffee) around 3 miles that put me well behind the running group. I spent the next 10 miles trying to catch everyone else and make it to the water stops before the volunteers closed shop. By 5 miles in, my "catch-up pace" sort of morphed into my relaxed pace. I knew I was running "too fast" for a long, slow, distance run, but I was comfortable, so I went with it.

I stopped looking at my watch and let my body dictate the pace. I rarely knew what mile I was running. I never knew my pace, or how long I had been running. I ran alone the entire way. It was a beautiful, cool and sunny day. I just let my body go. What a relief! I was free.

These are the moments we runners agonize, sweat and suffer for--moments when our legs feel strong, our minds let us go, and our lungs are just along for the ride. When I finished, I could barely believe my eyes. I averaged just over 9 minutes per mile for the entire distance and finished in just over 3 hours. I even felt relatively fresh. It was a good run. It was a good day. And I'm really, really happy about it!

The marathon is less than 4 weeks away.


Michelle (The Beartwinsmom) said...

You know what we need to invent? Noise cancellation headphones for our brains for when we get those negative thoughts that start screaming at us.

20 miles! Girl... I can't even walk 20 miles, let alone run. I am SO incredibly impressed with your stamina and determination.

Keep remembering that you CAN do it. Try really hard to push those negative voices out. If I could, I'd duct-tape their mouths for you. ;-)

etta said...

Duct tape! I love duct tape! Why didn't I think of that??

Running Hoosier said...

Outstanding, absolutely outstanding. 14 miles at under a 9:00 min pace... all I can say is outstanding, absolutley outstanding!


Anonymous said...

That's wonderful! I can't even imagine going at that pace ... I'm more of a plodder.

mfranks said...

your blog is inspiring. keep up the training. good luck on your goal

etta said...

Hi mfranks!
Thanks for the comment and compliment! I really appreciate it. Glad to have helped "inspire." Thanks!