Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 16 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Anxious to get running

Well, it's all over but the running. I'm sitting here bored in my hotel room. My class ended at noon today. I then braved the masses at the marathon expo in order to pick up my number. As I expected, there were thousands of people milling about. For those of you who don't know, marathons are preceeded by 1-2 day large expos where vendors from clothing manufacturers, to mattress dealers, to chiropractors hawk their wares. There are deals to be had, drawings to enter, and tons of energy foods and drinks to sample. I love them, but I usually try to go at off-peak times. Noon the day before the race is NOT an off-peak time. I could barely squeeze my way through the isles of the convention center today. Perhaps that's why I got out of there having only spent ten dollars! I usually over-spend my wallet!

So there's nothing else to do now but wait. Since I had some GI distress on my long runs, I am a bit anxious about that component. I've been extremely careful with my eating and drinking the past 5-7 days. Hopefully I've protected myself. If I'm going to qualify for Boston, I can't spend precious time in the port-a-potties!
As far as qualifying goes, I realized a short time ago that I really have NO IDEA what to expect tomorrow. It's been a long time since I've trained this diligently and intently for a marathon, and yet I only trained 11, rather than my usual 16, weeks. Will that come back to haunt me?
Another thing--It appears it's going to rain tomorrow. Not ideal conditions, and I'm not sure if my planned attire will keep me both warm enough and cool enough. I don't mind running in the rain, but it's another unknown wrinkle.
And then there's my fragile hip. It's been fine, but again... Oh damn! I think I've spent too much time alone in this hotel room!!

Gotta love the marathon! This is part of the mystique of running 26.2 miles...you never know what to expect, and over the course of 4 hours a lot can happen...and change! I'm as ready as I can be.

In honor of Jeannie, I'm running with my AA white chip (the day one, surrender chip) and my 2 year medallion. I typically carry them with me everyday, though not usually on runs. I guess I think they'll offer me some extra security tomorrow. Jeannie will be with me. I will think of her every time I hear them jangle in my pocket. Jeannie will be smiling whether I qualify or barely make it to the finish line! In the grand scheme of things, this will be but one moment in my life. I'm going to enjoy it, regardless of the outcome. Jeannie taught me that.

2 comments:

deepblue said...

good luck!!!
I have volunteered at the finish line of marathons when my husband has been running, and always get nervous just even watching all those people - some finishing and looking good and others not really looking very good. And others not able to even finish. Brings tears to my eyes.
Hope all goes well for you!

Jennifer said...

I'll be thinking good thoughts for you tomorrow.

Jennifer, who has been reading silently, without commenting lately.



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