Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 19 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Monday, October 27, 2008

A painful run

Decided to try running today. It's been 8 days since the last time out. With the marathon coming up on Sunday, I need to make a decision about running it. I tentatively set tomorrow as decision day. If tonight was any indication, the decision likely has been made. While I had a bit less pain than last week, I still had pain with every single step of my 4.5 mile run. It was impossible to get comfortable. It was impossible not to focus on it. In a marathon, pain is not something I can afford to focus on from the first step, especially since my ultimate goal is to qualify for Boston.

I hate the thought of having done all of this training for nothing. I hate the thought of having to maintain my current level of fitness, somehow, if I choose to wait for a December race date. But, if tomorrow doesn't feel any better, I think the decision has been made, and it will be back to the pool for me.

What a bummer...

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