Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 16 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Monday, December 22, 2008

Darkness Fading

It's a day I always dread, yet by early December, I can't wait for it to arrive, for once it's upon me, I can begin to look for the light again. From the moment we turn our clocks back, I dread the oncoming and ever-increasing darkness. Here in the far north, darkness is a prime complication of winter. December 21st is the shortest and therefore darkest day of the year. I hate the long dark. Like many with depression, I much prefer the sun, the light, and the energy of longer days.

Yesterday, the sun officially rose at 7:41 AM and set at 4:35 PM. Our day was only 8 hours and 53 minutes long. Almost 2/3 of yesterday was darkness. The high temp was a whopping one degree Fahrenheit, and the wind chill hovered in the -30 to -40 degree range, but it was the darkness of which my depression-riddled brain took note.

Like I said, I both dread and anticipate December 21st every year. It is equal parts culmination and initiation. We culminate the dark and initiate the light. It is a unique day, and I'm very glad it's passed. Six months of darkness fading are ahead. What a beautiful reality...


Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
etta said...

Dear Dan--
I've deleted your comment. Actually, it was more of a post than a comment, and if you'd like to post such lengthy thoughts which have nothing to do with my original post, please feel free to start your own blog.

Anonymous said...


I can relate. I live in North Dakota (not originally from here) and dread the long winters. More so from the dark, grey days than the cold and snow.

My daughter and I decided to train for a half marathon this spring in Fargo, ND and then run a marathon next fall in Dayton, OH. I've found running the best relief for the depression which besets me every winter (and then late summer).

Thanks for your blog and sharing.


etta said...

You are quite welcome, Creston, and welcome to my blog! Congrats on your decision to train for Fargo. I've heard nothing but good things about their event. Plan to run it myself someday. Good luck! Check back frequently. I will soon be training and writing about training again.

Anonymous said...

Hi, thanks for your kind response. I was hoping I was not imposing.
It's hard to train this time of year. Mostly running around the indoor track at the gym (1/10th of mile round). Gets kind of boring. But will use the winter to build up to longer outdoor runs. I find I need more time to recover after each workout. I'm in my 40s (42) ....guess its normal.

BTW, I live in Grand Forks, ND. So I very much appreciated and understood your post. As well each winter is a struggle in dealing with depression. But have found the early spring harder for some reason. You?