Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 17 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Handling negative emotions

Anger, fear, disappointment, resentment, frustration...negative emotions such as these seem to be doubly difficult for me to handle as a result of this illness. I'm not talking about jumping off a bridge or anything, but I've noticed recently that any negative emotion can trigger a steep, precipitous slide into the abyss. Darkness and despair seem to be ever present just beneath my surface. It makes feeling angry, fearful, frustrated or disappointed quite dangerous for me.

I wonder if anybody else has this experience? Am I unique in this? Have you noticed? I'd love to know.


Running Through Time said...

I just wanted to let you know, you are not alone in this matter. I also have the same difficulties with such emotions.

Anonymous said...

I can relate to falling in that same abyss. For me it means that I need to start back on antidepressants, or they need to be tweaked if I am already on them again. I think that we depressives have a propensity to slide quickly, and any worsening of this characteristic, is a warning sign to me. I know everyone has a different experience with symptoms. I wish you well.

Purl Crossly said...

Hope you feel better soon. I used to slip very quickly into a depression and occasionally still do. I've been treated for depression since I was 16 yrs. old and I'm now 42. The good news is that through therapy and meds. I have way less incidents of depression and an easier time getting out of depressive episodes. As well the duration of the depression is usually short. I remember feeling totally at the mercy of my emotions. I think over time it is possible to recognize what you need to do to stay well. You might consider that the time of year has an effect on your mood as well. Happy New Year.

Anonymous said...

Every day....every day. I can relate. Mostly, I find I just need to stuff all emotions or just give in. Usually better, short term anyway, to stuff them.