Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 16 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Proof?

Maybe I am living one day at a time. Maybe I'm actually accomplishing that goal. I talk the talk. My intent is to walk the walk. But how do I really know? Is there proof?

Yesterday, I mentioned that I was feeling better. My friend indicated she was pleased. Then she noted that this most recent downturn didn't seem to last as long as some previous episodes. "What was it, maybe 2-3 weeks," she asked?

Two to three weeks?! I was astonished. I thought it had been 2-3 days! "Was it that long? It wasn't that long, was it," I asked incredulously? It was. I checked my blog. It was about 2-3 weeks. So what does it mean that I thought it was only 2-3 days? Hmmmm...

The fact that it was 2-3 weeks and not 2-3 days may mean a lot of things. It might mean I'm not very observant. Maybe it indicates my forgetter works really well, but my memory sucks. Perhaps it's a sign of how low I got this time around. All are interesting, viable theories.

If I look at it more positively, though, it could mean I'm actually experiencing life one day at a time--forgetting the past and not worrying about the future. I think I'll look at it like that. After all, when I feel like crap, one moment at a time is quite enough!

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