Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 16 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Faster than I am!

It was a gorgeous day for a race. Almost perfect conditions met us throughout our 9.3 miles, and I ran.......FAST!! In my earlier post I hoped for a 1:16 which would have meant averaging 8:10 per mile. I ended up running a 1:12! That's 7:45 per mile, and that's the first time in the last 2-3 years that I've gone under 8 minutes per mile on any course longer than 5K. Prior to 3 years ago, a 7:45 would have been slow for me, but today it was thrilling.

My time, however, was not the most thrilling aspect of the day. I felt good early, and I felt great later in the race. That was really exciting! It felt like a breakthrough race. In fact, I felt like a runner again.

Perhaps the decision not to wear my watch during the race contributed to feeling great. I think it did. It was a big decision. I always wear a watch. I always wear a watch that beeps and gives me my split time at every mile. Going without my watch is far from typical, but it just felt right today.

Without my watch I had to run on feel alone. I battled the anxiety of my naked wrist for the first couple miles. I battled worry thoughts about running too fast, running too slow, getting passed, not getting name it I worried about it until about mile three. Well those thoughts pissed me off, as I knew I was feeling good and felt I was running fast. So somewhere between miles 3 and 4 I settled into a positive mantra and pushed the worry thoughts out. That helped.

The turn-around found me smack in the middle of 5-6 men and women. We had been exchanging positions throughout. By mile 5, however, I was almost alone. I don't know what happened. I don't know how fast I was going, but I just took off. I definitely ran faster over the second half of the race. It was a bit surreal. And it was fun. I had fun. This was one of those good days that pop up every once in awhile in running. Thanks, God, I needed this one!


Some guy named John said...

Congratulations on a great race!

I do think running by feel can sometimes help, but I also have a hard time surrendering the watch. Well done!

heartreflections said...

Way to go! You are getting me inspired. Plus, I bet your energy level is up, eh?