Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 19 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Thursday, May 28, 2009

is it over yet?

To add insult to injury, my softball team got whipped last night, 20-2. It was cold and raining--a perfect ending to a miserable week. Oh, wait, it's only MID-week. It's not over yet! Damn...

It's been that kind of week. I wish it was over. I wish it had never begun. It's Thursday, and I've yet to run one mile, bike one mile, perform one minute of yoga, or do anything other than sleep and eat! I hoped softball would be the key to unlock my gate, but I'm still fenced in. Stuck, I am, behind heavily barred walls with the ceiling falling in. My space is shrinking. I'm suffocating in the absent air. Worry...panic...setting in. It's been that kind of week.

Is it over yet?
When will it end?

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Oh Etta, it does sound as if you have been having a crappy week! I suspect there is really nothing that I can write which you do not already know. I know that I feel anxious, frustrated, vulnerable and panicky when one 'bad' day follows another. I feel that honest 'real' fatigue is part of this weeks exhaustion. Be patient, rest, remember to breathe(!), and be gentle with yourself. Do so hope you feel a shift and improvement over the weekend. Take care