Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 19 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Back to work

I'm eating my oatmeal. It's dark outside. I hate that. Seems it was just a couple weeks ago, and the sun was shining brightly at this time. I'm off to work in just a few minutes, and I'm dreading it. I hate that, too. Dread is not my favorite emotion. It's not that work is bad. In fact, it's been rather enjoyable lately. I'm dreading it because I've been off for four days, and I've grown rather used to my time.

We've had the most beautiful weather I can remember this summer. I've been reveling in the sunshine for four days. (Hmmm...abundant sunshine. Perhaps that's why I've been feeling better.) I've run and run some more. I've spent outside time with my mom and step-dad. Puck and I have visited the local lake. And golf has become my new, lengthy outdoor excursion. Can you see why I'm not looking forward to spending my day in a basement office?

Oh, how great it is that this is all I have to worry about today! No dark mood. No sadness. No drama. I guess I can manage a little dread when my dread is only the result of my good fortune. In fact, I'm even fortunate to have a job to dread, and I know that. It's all relative, isn't it? Our worries... It's a good day when my biggest worry is about going to a job I enjoy which finances my life. I hope your worries are similarly based.

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