Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 19 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Saturday, September 26, 2009

The long run and the injury

I ran 18 miles today. Saturday mornings are my traditional long run time, and 18 is the longest I've done in this training cycle so far. I'm assuming the 20 milers will start within the next two weeks. Remember, I don't know what's on my schedule next week, as I'm only revealing one week at a time. That strategy is still working for me. It keeps my anticipative anxiety down and allows me to focus on one workout at a time. So, I ran 18 miles today. Next week, I don't know yet!

Despite revealing only one week at a time, I still had anxiety about today's distance. You see, after my 15 miler last Saturday, I felt so good I decided to hit a bucket of golf balls. Well, driving a golf ball requires a fair amount of twisting on my right knee. Long story short, my not-so-brilliant decision to hit a bucket on an already tired knee resulted in the aggravation of an old meniscus injury. Unfortunately, I've been struggling with a bit of tendinitis in that knee as well. I spent most of yesterday fretting about today's 18 miles. I wasn't sure how my knee would respond.

For most of my run today, I was really fretting. My knee hurt. It hurt with every step from 0-11 miles. I considered stopping, but I was more concerned about missing my miles than I was about my knee. A bit of denial was also quite handy. After 12 miles or so, my knee remarkably started to feel better. I don't know why. I'm not going to try to figure it out either. I really don't care! All I know or care about is I was able to finish my run much more comfortably than I began it.

It's several hours later now, and while my knee is sore, it is still less painful than it was when I began the day. I'm sure the ice bath after my run helped. I'll continue icing it throughout the day, too. Who knows? I may wake up tomorrow and not be able to walk, but for now, I'm encouraged.

I'm also really encouraged by my run. Eighteen miles is a long way physically and mentally. Despite my anxiety and pain, it actually went well. I averaged around 9 minutes per mile without trying. I didn't look at my watch. I fell into that pace comfortably. To qualify for Boston, I need to average 8:35 per mile, so I'm pretty happy with today's comfortable effort. It means I'm right where I need to be right now. That's really encouraging.

Now I'm sitting with my feet up, petting my dog, and watching football. Right where I need to be...

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