Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 16 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Friday, October 16, 2009

Phantom radio returns

I don't think I've ever written about this before. It's not something I even like to admit. But it's back, and that discourages me. I wonder if any of you have experienced something similar. Maybe your commiseration will encourage me.

Occasionally, I have a phantom radio in my head. That is, I hear a radio playing in another room, but in actuality there is no radio playing anywhere. Sometimes the radio plays music, but most of the time, it's just noise. I awoke in the middle of the night a couple nights ago. I couldn't get back to sleep, and soon I realized the radio was "on." It hasn't been on since then, but I'm concerned.

I'm concerned because this "psychotic feature" typically only presents itself when I am deep in the black hole of depression. That's not the case right now. My mood has been fairly good, even normal, since August.

My mood has been good, so why is this symptom cropping up right now? Perhaps, as my psychiatrist suggested, the flood of memories I absorbed during my recent trip had something to do with it. Could be. I hope that's all it was. I'd rather the radio stayed off.

2 comments:

Mohican said...

Kinda scary, but don't let it spook you. I'm learning to live with some symptoms which recur from time to time. I don't know why it happens, but eventually I decided that it was benign and I wouldn't let it affect me. If you feel okay otherwise, don't let it put you in a trick box.

Polar Bear said...

I hear voices - when things are bad, I can hear them clearly directing me to do things. I also sometimes hear voices in the other room - can;t quite make out words, but can hear people talking.

For me, at least according to my therapist, this happens for me when I'm under stress. Sometimes I don't think there's any stress, but my therapist always seems to be able to unearth something that is causing me stress.

So maybe there is an underlying stressor in your life at the moment?



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