Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 16 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

No more car analogies

You see the previous post? That's the last time I'll use a car analogy to describe my mood. Tonight my car died. Really. You can't make this stuff up! I feel like this is piling on a bit. Enough already! God? Anyone? I know, I know. Acceptance is the answer. Okay. I accept it, but I don't like it. No more car analogies.

On to the rest of the story. I'm still struggling with some intrusive thoughts. Despite that, I've been able to continue working, exercising, and attending meetings. It feels robotic at times, but I'm doing what I need to do regardless of this damn illness.

I started the triathlon class on Monday. We swam on Tuesday, ran and did mega-strengthening Wednesday, and rode the bike today. Tomorrow is another strength day, but that's all. Mondays and Wednesdays are the big, tough days. We workout together from 5:30-7:00 AM. And our instructor really worked us out this week!

I kind of liked the tough workout though. It reminded me of my college sports days. Showing up, being told what to do, and then working my butt off brought back memories. Plus, there was a nice simplicity to it. I didn't have to think. I just followed orders. I appreciated that, especially this week.

Well, I'm off to bed. Sleeping is about the only thing that quiets my brain, so I've been doing a lot more of it. Not such a bad thing, really...

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