Depression Marathon Blog

My photo
Diagnosed with depression 17 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

scary thoughts

this is hard for me to write about.
sometimes my brain feels other than my own.
scary, intrusive thoughts crowd in,
and squeeze out any rational thoughts
which previously occupied the space.

i don't like to admit it.
i don't like when they come.
they are another symptom of my illness.
they are not welcome, yet they are here.
i can't say much else.
it feels too demeaning to admit.
i want my brain to be under my control,
but it feels out of my control
when the thoughts barge in.

this is hard for me to write about.
so that's all i'm going to say.


Mohican said...

Hard to comment on too. You're not alone, your readers are here. Give those intrusive thoughts a good fight.

Krystal said...

I had some scary thoughts too that came back a couple of days ago. Just keep on keeping on and I will to. Take care.