Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 17 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Chaos and Priorities

I've mentioned this here before. When my house is a chaotic, I start to feel chaotic. Well, my house is chaotic right now. Outside of work, I'm spending so much time training, which, for me, means extra sleep time, too, that I've been neglecting my home. There is a lot of piling going on. Mail on the table, dishes in the sink, clothes in the hamper...pile, pile, pile. I don't like when I let my house get like this.

It bothers me when my house gets too chaotic, but I really shouldn't complain. After all, I've allowed the chaos by choosing to expend my limited energy elsewhere. Chores have typically taken a back seat lately. Today I worked on cleaning up the table full of mail and paid some bills, but the dirty laundry hasn't moved. It's still waiting for me. But after running and swimming this morning, I needed my usual nap, and now I just don't have the energy. Obviously, my priority is, and has been exercise, not chores.

I think it's important to have priorities when dealing with any illness. Heck, it's important to have priorities when dealing with life! Over the past nine years, I've figured out what keeps me on my feet--mentally and physically. Clean clothes, spotless dishes, and dusted surfaces do help my mood, but exercise and sleep help a lot more. Taking my meds, eating regularly, and spending time with sober friends probably all come in higher than chores, too. Those are the things that keep me sane.

Hmmm...reminding myself of these priorites helps me feel less chaotic already. Something tells me I'll be able to put up with my dirty laundry for a few more days.


Maggie Beth said...

I totally understand!! I LOVE to clean and organize other people's houses. I have no idea why!! It is a hobby! But I will let my home go...too long. And then attempt to regroup and become overwhelmed.

I have often thought ~ there has to be a market for this skill. (i.e., someone willing to come in and organize a house - or even a room! -out of control for those of us who fight - as you said - simply to LIVE!) There was a small start up in my town that did just that. It was over a decade ago - but they folded. Now with all the "home improvement" shows out there I definitely think it would work. I would call it, "Organized Caois" ~ or something else silly clever like that. Pls. know if I did not live across the country from you I would be there with broom, mop and a rag in a heartbeat!

Borderline Lil said...

Clean clothes, spotless dishes, and dusted surfaces do help my mood, but exercise and sleep help a lot more - I couldn't agree more, prioritising is so important when dealing with illness/life. Great post, one I needed to read today!

Divas said...

Hi! I found your blog from RW.
I, too, suffer from depression but mine is situational depression. It's really hard for me to cope with some situations depending on if they're triggers for me.
Through running, I've been able to cope much better with life and when worries and anxiety plague me.
I also hate clutter and disarray and general uncleanliness because I can't think. I think this is normal for most everyone, though. I've heard that it is anyway.
Anyway, I'm enjoying reading your blog and being so honest about your challenges and victories.

jules said...

Yup, so true. Having a clean and tidy house is pretty low down the list. If it gets too messy then it can effect my mood, but nothing compared to eating junk, drinking and not exercising.

Dammit, I need to get into more of a habit of exercising! Depression kicks in and they I don't do it :(

Right that's it I am going to FORCE myself to go for a run.

Valerie said...

I also agree about what you've said in today's post;

--My mood is affected by the chaos around my house, the messier the home, the messier my mind. Ick

--Because I, too, am limited in my energy, I have to be selective and prioritize.

Days like today, I suck and don't want to exercise or clean. Not cool...