Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 19 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Random thoughts...

I admit it. I'm watching curling. And you know what? I've actually curled! Oh ya, you betcha! I grew up in Northern Minnesoooota, don't-cha know! Of course I've curled!

I'm also sitting here eating M&M's, fretting about how heavy I am, and wondering why I'm not losing weight. Hmmmm...I wonder.

I have M&M's to eat because I bought a pound of them to share with my sponsee today. She was scheduled to do some work with me today, but she called and cancelled. She not only cancelled, she said she needed to take a break. That's a very bad sign. Usually, taking a break from working the program is followed closely by taking a drink.

Her "taking a break" causes me to wonder, again, why it is that some of us get it, and some of us don't. Why am I enjoying a sober life? Why me and not so many others? All I can do is pray for "the others," I guess. But I do wonder...

I've been really tired this week during my workouts. Today I swam 1200 yards before doing the strength circuit. Twelve hundred yards would have been a cinch before I started this triathlon training, so I thought it would be even easier now. After all, I'm finishing my 6th week of a grueling regimen. Instead, I had a really tough time in the pool today. I had to take 4 or 5 rest breaks! Quite discouraging. I hope I'm just having a low energy week.

Thanks to my readers who've been leaving comments lately. Your comments really brighten my days! Thank you.
A full moon is arising outside my window. It's beautiful. It was a gorgeous winter day here in Minnesota. Looks like it will be a gorgeous winter night, too. Enjoy your evening, everyone.


Unknown said...

Hi Etta!

It's amazing how connected people can be! I am in UK, so far away from Minnesota. My husband is watching curling on-line. My 2 year-old and I were looking at the moon tonight. It looked very much like yours! :) My daughter said: 'It's a sticker moon!'

I just want to introduce myself. My name is Kat and I blog as well at

Canada just won in curling! My husband is happy (he is canadian).

Wising you a good weekends. Bye!

etta said...

How very cool, Kat!
Thanks for introducing yourself!

A. Paige Turner said...

I too sat and looked at the moon the other night. I could do that for hours and hours! Isn't it wonderful that some things are matter where you are -- the sun, the moon and the stars are always the same -- we just get to see them from a different perspective. Sort of like depression ~ My perspective of it changes, depending on whether I am looking through the darkness - or back at it. I am happy to say, there is not much darkness these days ~ but much awe, when I do take a moment to look over my shoulder. I am grateful to whomever/whatever created the moon, the stars, the sun ~ and the medications that allow me a happy, 'normal' life!

Peace, Ms. Etta, Peace ~ Maggie B.