Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 17 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

A little dip

It was a strange day in my little corner of the world. Things started great. After Puck awoke at 5:15--he is a creature of habit--I went back to bed and got an extra hour of sleep. I saw my psychiatrist and told her how well I was doing. I swam 1800 yards without much difficulty. I discussed remodeling my basement with a contractor. And then...crash.

I've had a hard time lifting my head off the pillow, more figuratively than literally, the rest of the day. All of a sudden I lost all of my oomph. Shortly thereafter, I noticed my thinking was a little off, and then the sadness set in. Weird. It was another precipitous dive into gray.

I'm feeling okay now, just okay, but I'm a little leery. I don't know where that little dip came from. I don't know if it's done. If it's done for now, is it coming back? Like I said, it was weird. It's still weird. I'm not sure what else I can even say about it. But now that I'm feeling "okay," I think I'll try to cross some of the other items off of my to-do list.

And I'll leave you with this thought by Aristotle. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then is not an act, but a habit.


andygoose said...

Great quote! Will have to use that.

I hate the dips too, especially because no matter how much positive processing I do that cloud just won't dissipate. I try to tell myself it's temporary and I just have to push through. Helps to make me appreciate the good times!

stacy said...

Just came across your blog. I look forward to following. I too have chronic depression along with anxiety and BPD. I really appriciate your proactive, responsible approach to you illness and look forward to reading more.
Sorry about your resent "dip".

Divas said...

I love that quote as well.
I'm dealing right now with some relationship-loss battle against the big D.
Thus, I am forcing myself to run and keep going so as not to slip too deeply into that abyss.

Here's to us holding our heads up higher.

Liana said...

I know what you mean about the dips Etta. Just got out of one last week. You've done well with your marathon too!!! Liana.