Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 17 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Friday, May 21, 2010

My weary bones

I wonder if I got hit by a mack truck in my sleep. It sure feels like it. Actually, it started yesterday. My whole body aches and my muscles feel totally spent. Even my brain hurts! I think Wednesday was just a little too busy, and things really haven't let up since.

On Wednesday, besides my regular two-a-day workouts, I also had golf lessons and a softball game. Worse yet, the softball game started at 9:15 PM! I'm usually sound asleep by then! It didn't help matters that we lost our game 30-something to one. That was frustrating. Perhaps I need to find a more competitive team. But I digress...where was I? Oh yes, Wednesday--Wednesday was a very long day.

Yesterday wasn't much better. I did the start-of-care patient I wrote about in the previous post. The whole process is supposed to take around 3 hours. It took me 6 hours to finish it! I spent two hours with the patient and four hours reviewing history and documenting. I was so overwhelmed when I got back to the office I almost started crying when someone asked me how it went. That startled me. I know I'm frazzled if routine questions bring me to near-tears.

I was tired and sore when I got home, and for the first time since January (except in the case of illness) I skipped a workout. I was supposed to ride my bike for 60 minutes, but I just couldn't do it. I figured I'd better listen to my body, even though that was hard to do. After all, I wasn't happy with what my bod was saying. I did get the strength workout done before work yesterday, so I didn't miss everything.

I contemplated adding the 60 minutes onto today's schedule, but it's been a long, long day again, and I'm still tired and sore. I dragged myself out of bed this morning, went to the pool, and swam 2000 yards. That's a long way when you're tired. I have to ride and run tomorrow, so it doesn't make sense to add another bike ride into tonight's schedule. I'm trying to be okay with letting it go undone. How am I doing so far? I really hope my bones aren't so weary in the morning.

There's much more going on, but I'm tired of looking at a computer. I've been using one all day, so I'm going to sign off for now. I'm sorry for the brevity. Hopefully life will slow down soon. Then I can give you, and me, more time.

The man who can drive himself further once the effort gets painful is the man who will win. --Roger Bannister


Stacy said...

You certainly do push yourself physcially. I'm impressed that you were able to listen to you bady when it need some rest though.
Hopefully I don't sound critical of your workout routine. I admire you for it. And it sounds like a real source of strenth, and pride for you. Not to mention the possitive effects it has on your depression I'm sure.
Hope you get to feeling more rested soon.

Anonymous said...

Hi there. Hope things start relaxing a little bit. I just started reading your blog. Do you take any supplements?