Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 17 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Too much on my plate

I'm feeling overwhelmed today. I think I've got too much going on. My head is trying to keep everything straight, but I feel like I'm running in a million different directions. I have lists of things to do, things to look up, things to buy, errands to run, people to call, and chores to be done. On top of that, I'm in the midst of the most difficult, and time consuming, week of my triathlon training. It's all getting to be a bit too much.

I'm worried about work. Tomorrow I have a "Start of Care" to do. That means I will be the first provider from my agency to meet with a new patient. Most of the time the nurses are the first ones into the home, and I come along later. But tomorrow it will be me, and it will be the first time I'll be doing a start of care. It's a very lengthy process. I'm told it takes at least 1.5 hours in the patient's home and then another 2 hours of paperwork. So I'm stressed about that.

I'm also stressed about my remodeling project, which hit a major snag today. My plumbing rough-in failed inspection. It didn't just fail. It failed miserably. It needs to be torn out and re-done. Does anyone know a good plumber? This means more work, more time, and most unfortunately, more money for me. We're just getting started and already the dollars are adding up. This is not a hopeful sign.

Despite having to wait for the plumbing inspector for three hours, I did get my workouts in today. I started my day early with a strength training class, but I didn't get on my bike until after 4 PM. I did a brick workout. I rode for 60 minutes followed by an immediate 30 minute run. It went okay. My legs were very tired on the bike, and I had some cramping in my calves during my run--not typical for me. Not sure what that was all about. Maybe it was the stress wearing me out.

Looking ahead, things don't get any simpler. I'll be up and in the pool early tomorrow because after work I have a golf lesson followed by a softball game! I'm not sure when I'll squeeze in the run. There are a few too many things on my plate at the moment. I'll really have to work on staying in the moment and taking things one day at a time. Looking ahead is too overwhelming. I need to stop doing that. One moment at a time, right? Taking just one moment at a time will eventually get me through...I think. I hope.


Anonymous said...

Don't think too far ahead! I hate that feeling of just too much to do, even when the "to do" is stuff I actually like to do.

I was in the pool early today. Wonder if we saw each other? It is definitely easier to get a lane now that all of you all aren't doing the tri training!


etta said...

We may have shared a lane! I was tired. My workout was tough. But I did it! On to my next "thing."

Jennifer, aka beautiful mind, complex life said...

When I get overwhelmed by things I need to do (which happens frequently), I try to force myself to do one small thing at a time, rather than resorting to my normal malfunction of avoiding everything all together because I can't do everything at once. If I'm successful, with moving one step at a time, one foot in front of the other, generally the panic of having too much to do subsides. Good luck with your training; it sounds difficult! You should be proud of yourself for your resilience and determination.