Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 16 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Friday, June 25, 2010

What to do now?

This could be a dangerous time. I'm feeling a little bored. I think I'm lost without something to direct my energy toward. I've done just a little exercise this week, not because I couldn't, but because I've not been motivated. I'm feeling lazy and very heavy. Like I said, this could be a dangerous time.

I've got to make some decisions about what to do next. I'm planning on running a marathon in November again this year, so should I start focusing on running? Or should I keep up with the triathlon training and make a plan to do another? Do I have enough courage to try another triathlon? That's another story for a another time, I think. The point is, I think I need to focus my energy soon. The heavier and lazier I feel...the heavier and lazier I tend to get.

I enjoy the triathlon training a lot. It keeps me fresher. I haven't had any nagging injuries despite 6 months of continuous training. I've not been able to report that when I've focused solely on running. But I don't like the way I've been feeling when running/racing lately. My legs aren't as running strong and my endurance not as great as when I've focused my training on running. So I'm not sure what to do.

I think I'd like to do another triathlon, but I'm certainly not feeling passionate about it. I'm a bit leery. I have several running races coming up on which I could focus. Regardless of what I decide to do--likely triathlon training with a greater focus on running--I need to get back to it soon. This is a dangerous time. Boredom and heaviness are not good places for me to be.

1 comment:

NOS said...

I can relate to having boredom be dangerous. And whatever you decide to do I'm sure it will work out great. I'm really impressed by your athletic talent.

Wishing you well,
NOS



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