Depression Marathon Blog

My photo
Diagnosed with depression 17 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Friday, June 25, 2010

What to do now?

This could be a dangerous time. I'm feeling a little bored. I think I'm lost without something to direct my energy toward. I've done just a little exercise this week, not because I couldn't, but because I've not been motivated. I'm feeling lazy and very heavy. Like I said, this could be a dangerous time.

I've got to make some decisions about what to do next. I'm planning on running a marathon in November again this year, so should I start focusing on running? Or should I keep up with the triathlon training and make a plan to do another? Do I have enough courage to try another triathlon? That's another story for a another time, I think. The point is, I think I need to focus my energy soon. The heavier and lazier I feel...the heavier and lazier I tend to get.

I enjoy the triathlon training a lot. It keeps me fresher. I haven't had any nagging injuries despite 6 months of continuous training. I've not been able to report that when I've focused solely on running. But I don't like the way I've been feeling when running/racing lately. My legs aren't as running strong and my endurance not as great as when I've focused my training on running. So I'm not sure what to do.

I think I'd like to do another triathlon, but I'm certainly not feeling passionate about it. I'm a bit leery. I have several running races coming up on which I could focus. Regardless of what I decide to do--likely triathlon training with a greater focus on running--I need to get back to it soon. This is a dangerous time. Boredom and heaviness are not good places for me to be.

1 comment:

NOS said...

I can relate to having boredom be dangerous. And whatever you decide to do I'm sure it will work out great. I'm really impressed by your athletic talent.

Wishing you well,