Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 17 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Lightening the load

My beautiful motorcycle is now gone. I watched it drive away yesterday. Tough. Having a bike represented some sort of freedom, I think. I didn't ride it often, but when I did, there was nothing more mindful I could have been doing. I could daydream driving my car, but on my motorcycle, a squirrel could have killed me. It was a great way to rid my mind of whatever was weighing me down. I'll miss that. I'll miss that freedom. But it didn't make sense to hang onto something I wasn't using, either. I think the freedom of lightening my load will outweigh hanging onto unused toys.

And that brings me to today. I've spent the day preparing for a huge garage sale, which I'm having this Friday and Saturday. As I mentioned here last week, I have too much stuff. I moved into this house 6.5 years ago, and I've got stuff I haven't even unpacked yet! Lots of it! Obviously, if I haven't needed it in the last 6.5 years, I don't need it at all. Don't you agree? There is also a lot of mental baggage among that stuff, which I also do not need. I'm looking forward to the freedom of being rid of the baggage and the stuff.

It's been a long day of lifting, hauling, sorting and pricing. My back is killing me! This is the most exercise I've had since the triathlon a few weeks ago. Once again, I've hit a lull in my motivation. I've got so many things going on right now, I just don't feel like going out for a run. Fortunately, following Weight Watchers is keeping me from suffering the consequences of my inactivity. I miss racing, but I'm otherwise doing okay with my lull. I know I'll eventually get back out there.

I'm tired and ready to hit my bed now, so I'll leave you with a quote I found during my hours of sorting today. Goodnight.

The will to succeed is important, but what's even more important is the will to prepare. --Bobby Knight


Inside the Mind of a... said...

I'm sorry to hear about your motorcycle :-/

Kudos for getting rid of all of that baggage ( literally )!

Love the quote. You ( er Bobby Knight ) is right, you need to prepare to succeed and u need to WANT TO PREPARE.

take care, stay strong

Anonymous said...

I guess it's a mixed blessing that you sold your motorcycle-- simultaneously sad and freeing. It must be exciting to arrange a garage sale! I hope that you make lots of money while you are ridding yourself of the mental baggage.

I hope your back feels better.

Wishing you well,

Maggie Beth said...

Etta - Sorry about your bike.

I am excited that you are "ligthening your load". I know your back hurts - but just think!!! The weight of this STUFF will be gone.

It will feel great (and you will have some $$$$$ to show for it!)