Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 17 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Friday, December 17, 2010

Happy Birthday (tomorrow) to Me!

It's almost my birthday. Another year gone by, another number added to my age... I'm not really thrilled about it. I'm not too fond of this aging thing. I think it reminds me, again, of my lost decade. I have all the thoughts about not being where I wanted to be at this point in my life. All of those depression resentments resurface. And each advancing year feels like I have less and less time to get where I already thought I'd be. I'm trying to let tomorrow be a special day, but all of this garbage successfully sneaks in, too.

I'm attacking the garbage, and trying to make a special day, by throwing myself a little dinner party with a bunch of sober friends. So far I've got 10 on the guest list. I don't think I've had 10 people in one place to celebrate me since I graduated from high school! We're going to a slightly fancy local restaurant with nice atmosphere. I'm really looking forward to it!

I think I'll bring my newly purchased birthday present to dinner tomorrow night. I bought myself a new digital camera this afternoon. I had a couple of Best Buy gift cards, so old I couldn't remember when I got them, so I bought myself a Sony Cybershot. It's half the size of my current digital camera, which is exactly what I wanted. I'm excited to try it out.

New toys, old friends...I'm going to have a good day. Happy Birthday to me.


AdmGln said...

Happy birthday! Don't look back at the depression, just look forward.

Anonymous said...

happy birthday!!
thank you for your blog. i appreciate it!!

Divas said...

Happy Birthday! Give thanks for another year of learning, growing, and running! =)

Mohican said...

Happy Birthday!

sharon said...

Happy Birthday, and congratulations on your amazing race in Dallas! As a runner with major depression, your blog has been incredibly helpful to me. Regarding the previous post, I get jealous when others are feeling better, and I am not, and I tend to distance myself from others who are having a down time when I am feeling up, in fear it will bring me down too. This is a selfish illness, but we need to be self-focused in our recovery and healing. Indeed, you can't be all things to all people - nor should you ever feel guilty for having a good (and happy!) time. Enjoy it - you work so hard for these moments!! BTW, I am running Austin too - v. excited!!!

Therese said...

Happy Birthday!! Hope you have a great day!

Maggie Beth said...

SHUT UP!!! Your b-day is my grandparents wedding anniversary!! How cool! Now I have two things to smile about on that day! (SORRY I AM SO LATE!! I moved recently and haven't had internet for about two weeks! I was going NUTS! ~ Pun Definitely Intended!!!)

So Happy (very late) Birthday and a Merry Christmas to go along with it!! ~ MAGGIE BETH