Depression Marathon Blog

My photo
Diagnosed with depression 19 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Sunday, December 19, 2010

A lovely party

I had a lovely dinner party for my birthday yesterday. I gathered with 7 other friends at a local restaurant. It was really nice to get dressed up and go out. I don't get to do that very often. The food and the conversation were good. We laughed a lot, took a few pictures, and marveled at me making it to my undisclosed age!

My friend Cindy pointed out that it was only two short years ago when I was on disability--unable to work because of this illness. It was only 3.5 years ago when I was last hospitalized--unable to care for myself because of this disease. And it wasn't quite 5 years ago when I was self-medicating with alcohol--daily. Yet there I was last night, sitting with 7 sober, healthy, fun friends. Who would have guessed? Certainly not me.

We did have a lot of fun. I ate a huge steak. I deserved it after slaving away on the treadmill yesterday! I ran 14 miles at the gym, 8.5 miles on the treadmill and 5.5 miles on the 1/10 mile track. Here's how it went: 3 miles on the little track, 6 miles on the treadmill, 2 miles on the track, 2.5 miles on the treadmill, and finally 0.5 miles on the track. I can't imagine doing all of those miles exclusively on the treadmill or the track! It was horrendous enough having to do them all indoors. Splitting up the miles helped a little with the boredom, and I think it helped a lot with recovery. I'm much less sore today than I was last week after I did 10 miles on the treadmill. I'm sure the steak helped, too!

Today's been a day of rest and relaxation. I went to church this morning. Like I mentioned before, I'm sampling a new place. I like it, but I swear I'm the youngest one in the pews! Wow! Don't younger people, and I mean people younger than 70, go to church anymore? After church, Puck and I went for a long walk. It was a beautiful, sunny, clear day. Unfortunately, it was also quite cold! I let Puck off leash for a while, and he romped around in the deep snow. So cute... By the time we made our way home, napping was the only thing on the agenda, and that's what we did. Like I said, it's been a day of rest.

Hard to believe it's almost Christmas. It's a bit of a non-holiday for me. My family does not get together. We don't exchange gifts. I don't send out cards or bake cookies. It makes for a stress free holiday for me, but it makes me wish I had a family of my own to create the stress, too. Oh well, I'll do my long run and then likely spend some time with friends. I guess those friends are my family now, and there's nothing wrong with that. I'm so grateful for my wonderful friends.


Imperfectly Healing said...

Happy Birthday!

Divas said...

Happy Belated Birthday!

Jenn said...

Happy Birthday!

A. Paige Turner said...

Etta so excited you had a great birthday! And how surreal is it to 'look back' -- On the rare occasion I do that it freaks my head! But then I look in the mirror and I say the same thing to myself that I always say to you - "GO On-with-your-bad-ass-Self!!!"

Congratulations on another year of healing.

Oh, and don't discount those 'older' folks at the new place - sometimes those still waters run deep (WINK!) and no matter how old we get we always need SOMEONE older and wiser to lead us.....keep searching and keep your heart open - you will find your place......

And Happy Birthday Etta ~