Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 17 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Thursday, January 13, 2011

It's cold inside!

From the When-it-Rains-it-Pours-Department: My first words this morning were, "Uh-oh." As soon as I threw off my bed covers I felt it. Cold! I quickly checked the thermostat and my worst fear was realized. No heat. After throwing on multiple layers of clothing, clamoring to the basement, and fiddling with a piece of machinery of which I know nothing, I made the dreaded call.

Now here I sit, typing with gloved fingers, waiting for the furnace experts to arrive. I can only imagine how much this will cost me! With every ounce of my being I want to scream, "Why?!! Why me? Why now? Didn't you notice that previous post, the one about financial stress? Why?" But screaming those thoughts would be futile. So here I sit, with gloved fingers, waiting for the experts to arrive.

This bothers me on so many levels. I hate being cold, and I've been cold a lot this winter. I've been turning my heat up lately. I hate being incapable, and I am incapable of fixing this. I hate having to rely on others, especially others who can take advantage of the situation and charge you an arm and a leg just to show up!
I hate having to wait. The expert may show up in five minutes or five hours. And most of all, I hate being stressed about money!  Like I said, this situation is a multi-faceted pain in the ass!

Life. Ain't it grand? And did I mention I'm running 20 miles today? Outside? In the cold? UGH!!! This is not how I wanted to start my day!


Maggie Beth said...

No words of wisdom.....we are freezing here too - (Inside and out!) I am sorry! Sending warm, toasty, money-filled thoughts your way!

Divas said...

I've got something similar only mine is car issues. It's been so cold that last month the handle to my glovebox literally broke off in my hand not to mention addressing the check engine light that came on same day. I hope everything gets fixed and that you got your 20 on!

TSB said...

I came home a couple years ago to the sound of quickly running water. The very first thing I thought of was, "Oh THIS is gonna cost me!" Of course it did, for my hot water tank had split wide open and had spent all day gushing.

Your situation is another of those things that have an immediate "uh oh" effect.

Glad it got resolved quickly!