Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 19 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

ECT Number Three

I'm recovering today from my third ECT treatment. So far, things have gone well, and I do believe I am feeling better overall. I think being in marathon shape has allowed me to recover quickly from the anesthesia. In fact, today I was up and eating within the hour. In the past, when I had ECT six years ago, it often took me most of the day to get moving again. I'm grateful it seems to be easier on my body this time.

I'm also grateful to be feeling a little lighter. Yesterday my social worker noticed my sarcasm was back. For her, that's always a sign I'm feeling better. In reality, maybe it's a sign I need to be nicer to my social worker. But she's right. I am feeling a little better. I've smiled more, and I've even laughed a bit over the past couple days. It's easier to be out of my room, but the thought of being around a lot of people outside of the hospital still overwhelms.

I'm thinking about being out of the hospital because I found out I will be discharged on Friday after my fourth ECT treatment. I will have two more treatments as an outpatient next week, and then we will assess if I need more. I hope not. Yet, I don't want to stop too soon either. I will discharge to my friends' home, as I cannot drive for the duration of my treatments plus two weeks. Bill and Cindy have graciously offered to take me in...again.

I hate to impose my schedule on my friends, but I guess this is what friends do for one another. At least that's what everyone here keeps telling me. Still, I hate to impose. I'm going to have to do a lot of swallowing of my pride over the next several weeks and be willing to ask for help. It's either that, or I'll be sitting quietly at home an awful lot! Perhaps the humility will do me some good.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about leaving the hospital. As I stated earlier, I'm still overwhelmed by the thought of being back out in the world. I'm medically off work until late May, so at least I won't have to face that stress right away. And perhaps not having to face work stress will make the rest of life's stressors a little bit easier. I hope so. One day at a time, etta. One day at a time.


Anonymous said...

I'm glad you're recovering. Good for you! You seem bright and eager again. I look forward to reading your blog everyday and I miss you when you don't post! Anyway, know that you are an inspiration to me to get better as well :)

Kat Speeckaert said...

you are so brave and strong!

Kelly said...

It is good to hear you are doing well.