Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 17 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Sunday, June 5, 2011

ECT brain

ECT brain. That's my excuse when I forget something simple which I should know, or as was the case this morning, something I've known forever but have now forgotten. I returned to work this morning. I was nervous about it. After all, it was my first day back in the working world since being hospitalized in April, and more importantly, it was my first day back since completing ECT. That's why I was nervous.

My weekend physical therapy position is a computer-laden position. We do everything on the computer. Everything. There are passwords, protocols, codes, and procedures by the dozens. Since I only work a couple of days per month, even a normal weekend can be challenging to my memory. And today was no normal weekend day. Today was post ECT day number one. So I was anxious.

I prepared as best I could for the onslaught of computer-dom. I came in last week and set up a new password, as I could not remember the old one. I reviewed some of the shorthand we use for common terms. And I played around a bit in order to get used to the feel of the place again. I was as ready as I could be, but just to make sure, I decided to arrive extra early this morning. Just in case...

As it turned out, it didn't matter that I got to my department 30 minutes early, for I forgot (go figure!) to rehearse one very important detail. That detail became quite clear as I stood at the department door. I forgot to re-learn one significant code. The department is locked on the weekend, and I forgot to re-learn the series of 5 digits which open the door! "ECT brain," I exclaimed! I've known that code for nine years. ECT brain, I repeated, and I sat down to wait.

Fortunately, my friends, that was the worst thing that happened today. I'm smiling about the silliness of it now. Sometimes, that's all you can do.

1 comment:

Maggie Beth said...

Love your attitude...