Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 17 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Waiting sucks

I can't imagine having children. My dog, Puck, had surgery today, and I thought I was going to die from the anxiety I felt. I'd been anxious about this surgery for a week. I'd had doomsday thoughts about it. I couldn't help it. I was sure he was going to die. I hardly slept last night. I was worried. Can you imagine if I'd had a child in surgery? I would have been out of my mind!

I'm not sure why this surgery was so difficult for me. He's had multiple surgeries over the years. I'd been anxious about all of them, but not to this extent. And this was the simplest procedure he'd had done by far. It was only a dental procedure. He had two fractured teeth which needed to be repaired. Simple, but they still had to put him to sleep to do it. That's what had me so worried. So worried I cried when I dropped him off, and I prayed all the way home. I was a bit of a mess.

Thankfully, my boy is fine. I haven't seen him yet, but the vet tells me he did well. He's awake and hungry. They were able to fix the fractures without pulling his teeth. That was good news. I'm so, so relieved he's okay. I hated having the doom and gloom thoughts. I hated waiting. It was tough. I love him so much, I don't know what I would do if he was suddenly gone. Thankfully, he's not.


Michele said...

I am glad he is okay. He's a beautiful dog.

Maggie Beth said...

Never underestimate the depth of love we can hold for our furry children....I SSOO understand - I don't dress my dog up in tutu's and the cat in pants (LOL!!) - but I love them deeply.

I can't even play the "what if" game....I am so glad your baby is good.....and that he has you!

A "Mom" who turn to prayer when the most anxious. Feel better Puck! You will be included in the "puppy prayers" sent up at bedtime tonight.....

Maggie B.

Borderline Lil said...

So happy Puck is okay! Blessings to you both xoxo

Linda said...

I completely understand what you went through, since I went through the same thing with my baby (cat!) a couple of years ago! She also needed a dental treatment but I went to the length of having a meeting with the vet and make sure everything was going to be alright. I still cried and worried so much, to the point I almost didn't take her in, in case I lost her!
Our children pets are the most important thing we have, and I am with you all the way!
Take care!

Anonymous said...

I've been on and off with depression too. And my dog is going in this week to have his spleen removed and I am a wreck right now. Trying to hold it together, but I'm unable to concentrate on anything (and I keep screwing stuff up because of it). He seems fine and I'm sure he will be... but the waiting is the worst.

Thank you for posting this and making me feel less alone.