Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 17 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

A great weekend!

I'm recovering from my weekend away. It was so nice to be on a lake in a nice spot with someone I care about. I just wish it wasn't 5.5 hours away. That long drive was exhausting! But it was worth it. Puck and I spent the weekend with my new friend, D., and we had a great time together. The sun shone brightly. The air was warm. We ran. We boated. We grilled out. We talked. It was really nice.

We had several nice, long talks over the course of 4 days, but we didn't discuss The Big D. Depression was not on the topic list. I felt good about that decision. We were still getting to know each other, and the time was not right. I feel more strongly now that there will be a right time, and I feel more confident that it will be okay when I do tell him. I'm less anxious than I was, but I'm sure it will still be nerve-wracking when we have the discussion.

One of the other nice things D. and I did together was a 12 mile long run Saturday morning. There is a very nice bike trail near his home. In fact, that bike trail is where we first met. We ran through the woods together, and although he thought I'd run faster than him, we matched paces really well. I don't usually run with other people, but it provided us with more time to get to know each other. It was a relaxed, fun run.

I'm getting back into my normal routine now. Work has been very busy and shows no sign of slowing down. My training continues to go well. I ran a 6, 3/4 mile repeats today. It was a hard workout, as I think I'm still fatigued from the weekend activities, but I got it done. And I have my last 20-miler prior to the marathon scheduled for this Saturday. Only 3.5 weeks until my next 26.2 mile race!

Things are going well. I'm still smiling from the weekend. It feels good to have something so wonderful to smile about. I wish D. and I lived closer to one another, but that's not the way it is. We'll just have to work a little harder if this thing is going to work out. And right now I certainly hope it does.


Kinza said...

Keep smiling, Etta!

Dr. G said...

It sounds like you are in a really good place and I couldn't be happier for you...but in truth, give yourself a big pat on the back - you are really getting it together. Sobriety, a treatment team, and a healthy lifestyle (exercise, etc.) all help combat depression. Remember how good it feels, and how much it is worth staying on track for.

As for telling "D" about your depression, I'm sure you are more nervous and apprehensive about it, than someone will be who genuinely cares for you.

Best of luck to you!

Anonymous said...

So glad you had a great weekend. And I LOVE that rather than "FORCE" the topic - you were able to realize there was not a right moment and you ACCEPTED THAT and had a great time. It will come in time.

Etta - you have 'released control' of that inevitable discussion ~ or maybe it has released control of you (WINK!)

There is SSOO much more to you than depression. Because you are allowing D. the opportunity to get to know you deeper - if/when the time arises to tell him about your depression he will merely see it as a very small part of a woman that he knows well. Well done Etta. ~ Maggie Beth

Chemical Emily said...

I stumbled across your blog today while searching for fellow depression bloggers. I am in awe of anyone with depression exercising at all, let alone running marathons and going on weekend outings. You gave this depressed girl some hope that things can get better, even though it sometimes feels as if it never will. Thanks for that, and it's great to see you doing great!