Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 19 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011


Okay. That's how things have been going since the weekend. Okay. My mood has dipped a bit since Sunday's post. Actually it's dipped a lot a few times, but I've survived. I'm working hard on dealing with the dips by remembering they are only temporary. Along those lines, I heard something great at a meeting last night. One woman laughed and said that she somewhere got the idea that she would always feel good. We all laughed and nodded right along with her. She expanded on the thought. She told us if she didn't feel good, she assumed it meant something was terribly wrong. Again, I nodded. What a thought, huh?

It made me think. Perhaps some of my angst would be relieved if I remember life isn't always supposed to feel good. So simple. And, when I don't feel good, perhaps I need to relax before concluding something is terribly wrong. Maybe all these years of depression have made me too sensitive to the little dips. I know I can survive. I've survived in the past. I need to remember that.

So things have been okay. I'm working as scheduled. I cleaned my house. I paid my bills. I walked/ran with Puck yesterday, and I plan to swim tomorrow. My knee is coming along. It gets sore after work and after my walk/runs, but overall, it's slowly healing, I think. Mentally, I'd like to feel better. I'm not back to full strength, but I'm nowhere near as low as I was just one week ago. I'm grateful to be feeling okay.


Sharon Pernes said...

I wrote a blog post with a similar idea.
My PDoc said recently that maybe I'm supposed to feel those type of feelings.
Here's my latest post if you want to see it

Wendy Love said...

I agree that sometimes, we who are constantly monitoring our moods, which is necessary, are often just a bit too sensitive about the normals ups and downs of daily life. The thing is that for us it is hard to tell what is a normal down or what is a depression starting to happen! And if it is depression coming on we want to do those things necessary to cope. So yes, I think I am sometimes too quick to react as well and I am glad you reminded me to loosen up a bit and see if a bad day isn't just a bad day, and not depression rearing its ugly head.

etta said...

You said it better than I, Wendy Love! Thanks!

sarah said...

True, sometimes I too feel very conscious about the happy times and the sad times in my life, but I realized that being happy even in sad times is the best way to live my life.