Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 19 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Back Among the Living

Things have turned around over the past few days. I'm feeling better. I'm less isolative and not so easily overwhelmed. I'm gradually working more hours and meeting other obligations. I feel like I'm crawling back up among the living.

I had my second maintenance ECT treatment yesterday. It went very well. I'm questioning whether or not to follow through with the next two scheduled treatments. They are scheduled for the next two Fridays. If things continue to progress, I doubt I will put my body through more ECT. Hopefully, things will continue to progress.

Running is still really tough. I'm trying to be patient with myself. I'm trying to run or walk everyday. And this week I hope to return to the gym for some weight training classes, biking, and/or swimming. Boston is rapidly approaching. I've got to start accumulating some long miles.

Speaking of long miles, I had ten miles scheduled today. Unfortunately it was very, very cold outside with a stiff, below-zero wind. I attempted to run outside, but I only made it 2 miles. I went to the gym to climb on the treadmill for the final eight. Wow! It was tough. Too tough. I have to trust it will get easier if I stick with it. It always has in the past.

It's nice to be in a position to worry about my running. Until this week, running was just one more thing this recent bout of depression took from me. Even though it's difficult right now, and I'm not in running shape, I'm so grateful for the energy and motivation. I'm grateful to be back among the living.


Imperfectly Healing said...

Glad to see you're feeling better.

Calling In Sick Today said...

Great news Eta

Anonymous said...

Etta I am thrilled you are feeling more yourself and the depression is finally lifting.....

However, this sentence concerns me:

"I'm questioning whether or not to follow through with the next two scheduled treatments."

Realizing I am merely a reader of your blog and not a 'personal friend' I strongly encourage you to follow-thru with whatever your "healing team" : ) suggests.

This may be an extreme over simplification - but it sort of reminds of girls I know who are depressed ~ get on anit-depressants and in a week or two when they "feel better" they stop the meds.....then of course, return to the depressed state...

Simply a "thought" I wanted to throw out there.....

I pray wisdom and guidence for you and all whom you trust.

Maggie said...

Sooooooooooo glad to hear you are seeing progress!