Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 19 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Back in the Saddle

It's been a good week. I'm sitting here relaxing after a very tough 14 mile run. More on that later. I feel like I'm back in the saddle. This is the first week since October, 2011, prior to knee surgery, that I've participated in what used to be my normal routine. It's the first week since my hospitalization prior to Christmas that I worked a full, normal work week, too. So it's been a good week.

I began the week by attending my early morning strength training class. That class requires that I get up just after 4 AM, and I wasn't sure I was going to be up to it. But I did it. And I did it again on Friday. My knee was a bit sore afterward, but I was able to participate fully. It was nice to be doing some good strengthening again, especially since I know it helps my running.

Work was particularly busy this week, so I worked three full days. One day was hectic and a bit overwhelming. I know I wouldn't have been able to handle that day even one week ago. But I handled it this week. That was encouraging. Working my normal schedule will certainly help financially as well.

As I noted earlier this week, I ran well on Tuesday. I followed that up with a nice relaxed run on Thursday. So I went into this morning's long run feeling optimistic. Unfortunately, it was 12 degrees with a fairly stiff north wind when I left my house at 6:30 this morning. After a 2 mile warm-up loop with Puck, I joined my local track club for the remaining 12 miles. Running with the group is great, and it was nice to be back among my fellow running friends, but I ran a bit too fast early. At mile 12.5, running uphill and into that freezing wind, I ran out of gas. But I persevered, and I'm happy to have finished. It was a good week of running. I'm feeling much more encouraged about finishing Boston.

A nice week... It's nice to have a nice week. It's been a while.


Kinza said...

I am so happy for you!

Lauren said...

You are beyond inspiring and I am so happy for you that you had a good week.I've actually been wanting to comment on your blog for a while and I thought today's post was quite approriate as it reflected how I was feeling too.I am 23 and have been dealing with depression since I was 11 and over the years various eating disorders as well.I found your blog a while back when I was going through a very low period and I guess I was looking for comfort--comfort in knowing I wasn't alone.You've made me think so much about my own life, causing me to reflect upon so many different things. You made me feel validated, you made what I was experiencing real and in some way that comforted me.I felt like I knew you and that returning to your blog day after day to read your thoughts and your feelings at times reminded me of myself.
I think that you are an amazing woman with fierce determination, compassion,and hope.You truly have so much to offer,your will and desire astounds me and I find strength and compassion in your words.
This past week was one that I hadn't had in a while, and frankly wish I never have to have again, but I know that will not be the case.It was a sad week, barely making it out of bed most days. Oddly enough what pushed me out was the fact that it was sunny outside and that going for a run would help me feel some relief. I too love running and for a while took it very seriously, but because of my eating disorder I had to stop.I have started up again and am finding that my love for it has not changed, even though I am nowhere near the mileage I used complete. You have inspired me to sign up for a 5k this spring, my first one ever!I've always wanted to run a marathon but depression's ugly head always got in the way.
Today was the first day that I actually got out of bed at a normal hour, today I smiled alot and laughed, today I left my house,today was a good day ending a really bad week. Thank you for sharing your strength with all those who read about it because I know that it makes a difference in their lives. Thank you for inspiring me to do something I always wanted to do. All my best!

Wendy Love said...

So glad to hear such a good rapport. Thanks for being an ambassador of hope to us all. As you share the good along with the bad, it gives us all hope that there will be good days and we must persevere. So glad for you that you are redeeming some of your activities that you enjoyed so much. I know what that feels like.

Anonymous said...

SO glad to hear this wonderful news.

BTW - had a strange thought....(or at least remembered something) - My mother is bi-polar. She functions quite well and stays on meds (this is important for my point).

Twice in the last five years my mother had to be put to sleep for minor procedures - for months following EACH procedure her behavior and bi-polar became erratic and it POSSIBLE!! that your surgery (the anesthesia - or pain meds?) could have contributed to this last bad patch?

It is something to think about and maybe discuss with knowledgeable doctors. We now have a very prominent note on my mother's medical file -- if she is put to sleep again it is possible her doctor will knock her meds up a little before and following surgery.......if you are like me you want "an answer" - hope this may help or it is at least something you have already considered........

AGAIN - so glad you do well --- Maggie