Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 17 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Accomplishing life

Sorry I've been away for a few days. I didn't go anywhere. I've just been getting back into life. I've been working more and more. I worked Sunday, Monday, today, and I'm scheduled to work tomorrow. I'm still a little overwhelmed at work. Thankfully, we've been a little slow lately. That's helped.

I've been getting back into my running as well. It's been very hard. The long layoff after knee surgery combined with a one month hospitalization left me back at square one physically. It's been really tough getting going again. I ran an interval workout yesterday, and I seriously thought I might die from the effort! The sluggishness of the depression has yet to leave, and it is most evident when I'm running. I know it will improve. I just have to continue putting in the effort.

I have to continue putting in the effort around my home as well. The little things are going undone. It's still easier to come home and fall asleep, and that's often what happens. Before I allowed myself to nap today, I got one load of laundry done. It's not a lot, but at least it's something. I'm going to continue focusing on just getting one thing done at a time. Eventually, the little things will get done.

I saw my psychiatrist today. It was nice to make it through an entire appointment without sobbing uncontrollably. It's nice to be feeling a bit better. As I told her, things still aren't perfect, but I feel less hopelessness than I did even last week. One foot in front of the other, that's my focus today. Thank you all for joining me on the journey.


Kitty said...

you're so brave!

Anonymous said...

"Thank you all for joining me on the journey."

....Thank you for inviting me (us)and for trusting me (us) to join you...


Blackdays said...

We're all here with you xx

Wendy Love said...

Thanks for sharing your journey! It gives all of us hope as you plug away, one step at a time towards wellness once again. I have always found that just a little improvement can be a really big deal in depression, a little difference can make a BIG difference. So glad you are experiencing progress!

Kasserine said...

I admire you so much. Depression is a disease that eats away at us from the inside out. No outside stimulus saves from from our feelings.

fergy1146 said...

I know how you feel! I started with anxiety and depression approximately 20 years ago and it comes and goes. Right now, it is with me and my wife cannot really grasp what it is about. I feel bad for her. She is such a good person but her husband (me) has mental illness (depression) which is not easy to understand !