Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 17 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Wednesday, April 25, 2012


Things have been tough at my job. It's hard going to work. The atmosphere there is toxic to emotional health. It's hard not to be swallowed up by the toxicity, and the toxicity comes right from the top. I'm doing my best to stay afloat. I'm keeping my head down, doing my job, and trying to stay out of the muck. But this week things have been said and done around me that I've not been able to avoid or let go. I've woken up at night thinking about the situations. I hate that! I hate bringing work crap home with me.

Bringing the muck home is not good for my mental health. I don't have enough energy for that. Likewise, I don't have enough energy to get my job done when I'm feeling smothered by the environment.The end result is I'm feeling the urgent need to get out of there. Now.

Fortunately, I have a few options at which I'm looking. I'm so grateful to work in a field which is in demand. I'm lucky. I know. But changing jobs is always stressful, too. I wish the situation was different. It's not, and I'm having to deal with it. Though I'd like to run away, I'm trying to be patient and let what may develop materialize. I'll let you know how it goes.


Tina Fariss Barbour said...

I hope you are able to find an option to the job soon. I have worked in some toxic environments, and it is difficult to "rise above it."

Anonymous said...

Work is the most stressful things in my life. We spend 8 or 10 hours there, so it's essential that it's fulfilling and brings you comfort, and not the other way around. I'm doing a job search as well! Good luck with yours.

Anonymous said...

Gosh, I totally felt this way in my last job. Thank you for posting this! I always think that it's just me that feels this way. I'm glad to know that other people struggle with this too.